To My Soul

Happy Turkey Day everyone. I hope you all enjoyed the meal and the left overs, just remember a lot of people starved. Well I spent my day of gluttony with my family and my friends, I brought down my friend Luis so that he would have a place to go and have a nice warm meal, he is from Texas and does not have family here. Well he does now. The rest of the week consisted of going out and spending exuberant amounts of money. Had fun with the skipper and her husband at cafe sevilla.


Now for my brief of things that I see and examine. I have seriously come to the conclusion that rational and reasoning that we so proudly brag about (as a people) is the biggest evolutionary-god created- divine inspired MISTAKE. It has a accomplished nothing but allowed us to kill ourselves in more ways than was ever expected. Seriously consider the ways we could die before we invented civilization, and now consider all the ways you can die now.

I would like to thank the following people for changing my view of the world, Douglas Adams, Daniel Quin, Gene Rodenbery, Salinger, Terry Brooks.

I have been currently thinking about the concepts that we speak about and how the world gets more and more fucked up as we make more progress. People get dumber, the smart are actually becoming dumber, and people are seriously living their life day to day not knowing what the hell will happen. I am not really one to complain I am as lazy and unwilling to change as the next but man I wish there was a way to light a fire under my ass and other's to make them see that we are on an frieght train to hell.

Can the future of man ever be ensured.

I have come to the conclusion that, if I can not be part of the solution, then I shall be part of the problem. There is a sense of duty, a feeling of emptiness, and disgust. I walk the lonely road toward a goal that I believe that I control. No one knows where they will be down the road but they do know that they might not be down the road. So people will live their lives avoiding what is already meant, that is if they believe in destiny, yet they believe that they can change things, so they do not believe in destiny but in the free will of their choices. That is paradox that most people never realize, the need for a difference and the need for change. Is there ever really a way to know that you made a difference in a system that is designed to keep you from making a difference. Colisions of events create catastrophes in the event horizons, the end results are never predicatable but neither are the events that led to the event that caused the collision. Never able to understand and never willing to make the difference. A flute plays in my head and it only begins to play when I know that I must act. What has led me to this "must" I do not know nor do I care. I just know that I must. I want the question answered, how should man live to ensure a tommorrow.

There has to be a different way of accepting change.

Game of Words

The world that we live in is not the world that really exist. The world that we live in is defined and maintained by words. The words that we speak are empty meaningless or meaningful half lies. We can not truly describe a sunset or a rainbow without using the words that others have used before. We speak of great things that we do not comprehend. We speak of Freedoms that we do not really understand. If you can describe to me what freedom is without using the words nature, natural, free, loose, do and to. People sometimes say that we are force fed the regiments to keep us in this world but we do not know what it is to live outside of those regiments because even those who live outside of the world have already been defined. Man has inclinaitons that he must follow to survive and even outside of law and state man must follow rules. People can complain about the system that keeps others in check but they must then question themselves about the system that forced them out of the system. No one is free no one has ever experienced freedom.

Let go and drift away.

Letting go from the realities that exist is the hardest thing for the human body. The human body is ruled by a set of perceptions that tell it that all is well. If one goes wrong then it has others to fall back on. What happens when you purposely want to let go of the reality and see what lies beyond the veils and drapery? I imagine that it must feel something like laying on the beach and having the tide drag at you but your weight resists the tide's pull. The weight being your sanity as it pulls you back, it then screams and innitiates pain through out all your receptors to bring you back from what lies beyond. Tao is the answer or is it Pain. The struggle or the peace. Is it best to struggle or is it best to let things go. I do not know.

Will You Join Us

Tuesday is the election and I still do not see anything appealing about John Kerry, though I am voting for him, I just see him as the other candidate that is not as bad as President Bush. I commented on this last night and found that few people agreed with me. Anyways thats bullshit politics.


I will come back to this post.